I'm supporting
someone else
Together we can make a difference.
When someone you care about is experiencing domestic and family violence, your support can be life-changing. Offering an ear to listen and practical help empowers them to take steps toward safety and independence at their own pace. You don't need to have all the answers. Starting by simply being there, and helping them connect with the right support, is enough.
If you’re worried about someone you care about
You might be concerned if they:
- Seem anxious, withdrawn, or fearful — particularly around their partner
- Frequently cancel plans, make excuses, or seem to need to "check in" before making decisions
- Have become increasingly isolated from friends, family, or community
- Have unexplained injuries, or explanations that don't quite add up
- Appear to have little access to money, transport, or control over their own life
- Seem constantly monitored or contacted by their partner
Your support matters more than you think
Being present matters more than having the right words. Showing up consistently — without judgement and without conditions - is one of the most powerful things you can do.
Connection is protective. Isolation is one of the most dangerous factors in domestic and family violence. Staying in contact keeps a lifeline open - even when progress feels slow.
Practical help can ease an impossible situation. Offering a safe place to stay, helping with transport, or assisting with childcare can reduce barriers that feel insurmountable.
You don't need to fix it. Your role is to walk alongside them, not to solve the situation. Trust the process, and trust them.
Recognise the Signs of Domestic & Family Violence
Domestic & Family Violence doesn't always look the way we expect. It can be hard to name, hard to see, and even harder to talk about. Domestic & Family Violence often involves a pattern of coercive control – behaviours used to dominate, isolate, intimidate, or undermine someone over time. Whether you're concerned about yourself or someone you care about, understanding what to look for is a powerful first step.
What Are The
Types of Abuse?
Domestic & Family Violence is rarely just one thing. It often involves a pattern of behaviours across multiple forms of abuse — and it doesn't have to be physical to be serious.
Why Abuse Isn’t
Always Visible
Abuse is often invisible and that invisibility is intentional. You don't have to figure it out alone. Support is available, and reaching out is always a worthy next step.
Protecting Children from witnessing violence & accessing trauma support.
Children don't need to see violence to be affected by it - tension, fear, and walking on eggshells all cause harm. If you're concerned about a child in the home, our counsellors can talk through what support is available for both the child and the parent. Trauma support for children is available - early intervention makes a significant difference to long-term wellbeing.
Supporting the parent is one of the most powerful ways to support the child -when a parent feels safer, children do too. You do not need to have all the answers about the children - raising your concern with our service is enough to get the right people involved. Keeping children and young people safe, respected, and valued is a shared responsibility - and one we take seriously.
Listening & Talking
Reaching out to someone you think may be experiencing Domestic and Family Violence is one of the most important things you can do. Here's how to do it in a way that helps - not harms.
What to say - supportive, non-judgmental language:
- "I've noticed things seem hard lately — I just want you to know I'm here." You don't need to name what you think is happening. Opening the door is enough.
- "I believe you." Two of the most powerful words you can offer.
- "This is not your fault." Say it clearly, and mean it.
- "Whatever you decide, I'll support you." This removes pressure and keeps trust intact.
- "You don't have to figure this out alone." Remind them that connection is available — without conditions.
- "I'm not going anywhere." Consistency is safety. Say it, then show it.
What NOT to Do or Say
When someone you care about is experiencing domestic and family violence, your response matters. Here's what to avoid:
Don't let your opinion of the perpetrator shape your response. Someone can appear kind, calm, and well-liked - and still be violent behind closed doors. What you see publicly is not the full picture.
Don't take over or make decisions on their behalf. The person you're supporting needs to feel in control. Removing that agency - even with good intentions - can cause further harm.
Don't share their situation with others without their consent. Confidentiality is not just courtesy - it's safety. Disclosing without permission can put them at serious risk.
Don't underestimate the impact of isolation and shame. Many people experiencing DFV already feel alone and judged. Your response can either deepen that - or begin to ease it.
Don't forget the weight of your role. For some people, you may be one of very few safe connections they have. Responding with care, patience, and without judgement can make a profound difference.
If you're unsure how to help, reaching out to a specialist Domestic Family Violence Service / helpline - is always a good next step - for you and for them.
"Why don't you just leave?" Leaving is often the most dangerous time. This question places responsibility on the wrong person.
"But they seem so nice." This centres the perpetrator's public image — and makes the person feel disbelieved.
"What did you do to provoke it?" Abuse is never provoked. Avoid any framing that implies shared responsibility.
"You need to leave for the sake of the children." Pressure — even loving pressure - removes agency and increases guilt.
"I told you so." This closes the door on future conversations and deepens shame.
"You should go to the police." That decision belongs to them, in their own time. Directing action - however well-intentioned -removes their control.
Don't let your opinion of the perpetrator shape your response. Someone can appear kind, calm, and well-liked - and still be violent behind closed doors. What you see publicly is not the full picture.
Don't take over or make decisions on their behalf. The person you're supporting needs to feel in control. Removing that agency - even with good intentions - can cause further harm.
Don't share their situation with others without their consent. Confidentiality is not just courtesy - it's safety. Disclosing without permission can put them at serious risk.
Don't underestimate the impact of isolation and shame. Many people experiencing DFV already feel alone and judged. Your response can either deepen that - or begin to ease it.
Don't forget the weight of your role. For some people, you may be one of very few safe connections they have. Responding with care, patience, and without judgement can make a profound difference.
If you're unsure how to help, reaching out to a specialist Domestic Family Violence Service / helpline - is always a good next step - for you and for them.
Encouraging to seek professional help
Suggesting professional support to someone experiencing domestic and family violence takes care and timing. The way you raise it can make the difference between someone taking that step - or feeling pushed away. Here's how to do it well.
- Lead with care, not urgency. "I've been thinking about you - there are people who specialise in exactly this kind of situation, and they're really easy to talk to."
- Normalise reaching out. Remind them that contacting a service doesn't mean they have to do anything - it's just a conversation.
- Offer it as information, not instruction. "I came across this service - would it be okay if I shared it with you?"
- Let them set the pace. Mention it once, leave the door open, and don't make your support conditional on them following through.
- Avoid framing it as a last resort. Services are there for anyone navigating a difficult relationship - not only those in immediate danger.
What happens when they contact our service?
No one will tell them what to do - the conversation is guided by what they need, at their pace.
Reach out to us
They can contact us by phone, online chat, or in person - whatever feels safest and most accessible for them.
Introductions
They'll be welcomed by a trained DFSV counsellor - someone who understands, and won't judge.
Let's Chat
They can share as much or as little as they're comfortable with - there's no script, no checklist, no pressure.
Provide Support
The counsellor will listen, help them understand their options, and support them to make decisions that feel right for them.
Taking care of yourself. Your wellbeing matters too.
Supporting someone through Domestic & Family Violence is deeply meaningful - and it can also be emotionally exhausting.
- Acknowledge the weight of what you're carrying. What you're witnessing is serious. It's okay to find it hard.
- Seek support for yourself. Talking to a counsellor, a trusted friend, or a professional service can help you process what you're experiencing and sustain your capacity to help.
- Set boundaries that protect your wellbeing. Being a support person does not mean being available at all times or taking on responsibility that isn't yours to carry.
- Know when to refer on. If the situation feels beyond what you can manage alone, connecting them - and yourself - with professional support is the right call, not a failure.
- You cannot pour from an empty cup. Looking after yourself is not selfish. It is what makes sustained, genuine support possible.
Information That Protects and Empowers
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic and family violence, we're here to help. We connect you with trusted crisis contacts, support services, and the information you need to understand your options and take your next step safely.
Additional Support
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic and family violence, support is available. Explore trusted services offering counselling, accommodation, legal guidance and more.
Educational Content
Domestic and family violence can affect anyone. It does not discriminate by age, background, culture, or circumstance. If you are looking for information - whether for yourself, someone you care about, or simply to understand more — you have come to the right place.